Moon and Stars
by cpsuay
Summary: A story about Marauders in their fifth year. After Sirius was kicked out of his own house for good, his laughter and shine faded. James, Remus and Peter thought this was a temporary thing, but there was something else with Sirius, too. And now, Remus was to find out about his friend's condition.
1. Holy, Jolly, Lovely Hogwarts

Professor Dumbledore's speech was enlightening.

They were at the Great Hall. James was watching Lily as always. Even though Severus Snape was a Slytherin, he sat next to Lily Evans all first-days. James knew Lily didn't feel affectionate to the boy— no, she was just Severus' close friend, but he was jealous anyways. The girl seemed to enjoy herself talking to Snape, giggling and all, so James didn't want to bother them anymore by staring for minutes and minutes. His eyes turned to Dumbledore, who was speaking about Professor McGonagall's achievements last year.

Peter was— he was Peter, Sirius never understood what he was doing. He was a decent kid, but he had his ways. Whenever the boys had a fight, he always picked the side that was stronger— that being Sirius. Sometimes Remus, too, if Peter felt threatened by his werewolf form. Sirius just shook is head from watching Peter, so his eyes turned to see someone else.

Remus was next to him. He was reading a book. Of course his ears were fixed on Dumbledore, because let's be honest, it was Remus. And Remus was always kind and caring. He was never a useless shit.

That useless shit was Sirius.

Sirius was watching his friends. He remembered the beginning of this year and how the Marauders were so open— so kind to him. The beginning of this school year was… Terrible. The boy was kicked out of his own house— his own family, just because he was a Gryffindor and he hung out with 'mudbloods' like Remus Lupin and Lily Evans. Remus wasn't even a mudblood, he was half-blood, but— neither of them deserved to be remembered as that gross word. Sirius, like always, chose his best friends.

So that was the story. Even though his cousin Andromeda was secretly caring towards him, none of them really cared. None of them tried to keep Sirius in that house. They were bad people— supported You-Know-Who and his idea of pure-blooded wizards, who was probably just a mythic villain anyways. Sirius was actually happy that he left the house, but he was just a burden to James and his family.

"What?"

Remus was staring at him now. Sirius got lost in his thoughts but he was looking at Remus… for minutes now. He just immediately shook himself and blinked. "Nothing, mate."

Remus approved with his head and smiled. "Are you okay?"

Sirius grinned. He loved it when Remus was just so caring— so good. The Marauders were best friends, they were supposed to beat each other, mock one another… and that was what James, Sirius and Peter did, but Remus? He was the kind one. He always asked if the boys were okay and Sirius loved it. It was a good feeling to have someone who cared. "Yeah," he replied. "I was just thinking. That's all."

He expected Remus to say _Okay,_ and turn back to his book. Instead, the boy closed his book and gave all of his attention to Sirius. "I know things are not good, but…" He tried to find an accurate word for the situation. "But you have us. You know that?"

Sirius nodded. "Of course," he said. "Of course I do."

—

Sirius was the best in his class. When Remus first attended Hogwarts, he didn't know anyone his first year. He was just so ashamed of being this _thing_ — half werewolf, half human. But Sirius… Sirius was the one he met first, in the Potions Class. The kindest one to him, even though he thought he was a shitbag.

He was the best in his Potions class, always scored an Outstanding from his O. even though it wasn't necessary. Severus was good, too, so Remus always watched them compete. He liked how Sirius was ambitious— but not like Snape. Sirius' ambition was more childish, it was just for glory. He sometimes saw him smile at Remus when he scored an Outstanding in the class. Snape's ambition, however, was just because he wanted to be best in his class. He thought he was the best. Not the type Remus would hang out.

When first period of first year ended, in Christmas Break, Sirius came to Remus after a Potions class. This was the only class they had together, apart from Divination, which was a bore. "What's up, Moon Boy?"

Remus coughed from the water he was drinking. He spitted on Sirius accidentally. "S-sorry— what?"

Sirius grinned. "What's up, I said? You know, how's it going?"

 _Idiot,_ Remus thought. _He doesn't know. Calm down._ "Um," he replied. "Good. Why?"

"Wow," Sirius' grin could be seen from Hogsmeade now. "Not good at making friends, huh?"

Remus faked a smile. "Yeah," he shrugged. "Sorry."

"You apologise quite often," the boy said. "No need for that."

Sirius had a nice face. Remus knew, he was from the Black family. They hated muggle-borns, they even hated half-bloods and Remus himself was a half-blood, so he didn't understand why Sirius was talking to him now.

But after watching him for months, Remus knew, Sirius was different from his family. He was the first Gryffindor as a Black. Also, he didn't go to see his parents in Christmas. Just like Remus. Well, Remus didn't go— not because his parents were nightmares, but because he didn't want to be a burden to them. He had to transform every full moon and it was terrible. He didn't want to bother anyone with this. "Okay," Remus said.

"What's with the scar?"

Remus was about to leave the place, but Sirius' voice came from behind, wondering. The boy turned to face him— they were the only ones left in the class. "What scar?"

Even though he acted like a pure, stupid kid, Remus knew what Sirius was talking about. He was asking about the scar on his nose— the one he did himself on his first night of transforming. "That scar," Sirius pointed with his finger. "On your nose."

Remus giggled. "This?" he asked, pointing it out like Sirius. "N—nothing, really. I was beaten up by dogs."

Why were they still talking? Remus wanted to leave. Sirius was a smart kid and of course he didn't believe him, but Remus didn't have to explain himself. It was just— Sirius' intentions looked good. "Yeah, you expect me to believe that?" He smiled. "Whatever, Moon Boy…" he took his books and walked to the door. "See ya' around."

That was how he first met Sirius. The rich, smart, bold and elegant boy— the laughter. The Sun, more like it. The one who accepted Remus as who he was, and what he was always going to be.

It was the beginning of the fifth year now, and Remus couldn't see the light in Sirius' face. He always made Remus laugh, never mocked him even though he always mocked James and Peter. But now… he wasn't _in the mood,_ he would say. It had been weeks since fifth year begun, and at first Remus thought it would get better. Well, it didn't.

When he didn't show up to Potions class, Remus was sick of it. He knew where he could find Sirius— it was where he went to whenever he felt bad, so Remus raised his hand. Professor Slughorn smiled to the boy. "Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"Sir, I feel really bad. I think I got a flu," Remus said. "Can I go the my dorm?"

Professor Slughorn looked worried. He was a good man, a goofy one. "Of course, of course," he repeated. "Don't go to your dorm, see the nurse, Mr. Lupin."

Remus already made his way to the door. "Okay, Professor. Thank you!"

—

The Shrieking Shack was a horrible place. This was the place where Remus transformed to a werewolf. Thanks to Professor Dumbledore, it was protected with a spell and only those who knew of Remus' case could get in. One of those people was Sirius.

He entered the Shack with a terrified feeling inside. Maybe Sirius wasn't alone? Maybe he just wanted to hangout with some girls like he did from time to time. But when Remus looked inside the room where Remus transformed, he saw him. He was sitting on the chair— the only chair in the room. When he heard the door noise, he immediately took his wand out. "Who—- Oh," he relieved. "What are you doing here?"

Remus frowned. "I should ask _you_ the same question."

"Were you following me, Remus?" Sirius was grinning now. Remus tried not to smile at that. He was angry at him, and he had to be. Sirius was not himself lately, and it effected all Marauders members. Especially Remus, for an unexplainable reason. "Of course not," he said. "And you're the one to explain things, not me, Sirius."

"Severus is right," Sirius said to himself. "We're like a married old couple."

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You're so irresponsible, you know that?" he murmured. "You missed Potions. It can effect your N.E.W.T. applications."

"I don't care."

Remus took his wand out. "You don't care?" he shouted with dignity. "You don't care, huh?" He waved his wand to him. "If you don't stand up and walk to school now, I'll make you. You know I can."

Sirius laughed. He stood up and walked to face Remus. He took his wand and looked at it. "Remus, look." His mood faded in a second. "I understand that you're like our father— but I needn't that right now. I needn't anything but loneliness."

Remus frowned again. "I'm not like _your father,_ " he spit out the words. "And I don't want you to be alone especially at a time like this. Look, Sirius. I know you're mad but let us be with you. Let me be your… friend. Okay?"

Sirius looked down at Remus' wand. He didn't looked up to face the boy. "You don't understand."

"There are a lot of things we don't understand. But we can, you know. Together."

Sirius smiled softly. "I have a reputation, you know."

Remus laughed. "So do I. The scary werewolf who eats Marauders at night and returns them back to life just to eat them again."

Sirius laughed so hard, Remus smiled, too. "You just made this up, man."

"Yeah," Remus replied. "I did. Not the point, though."

"Okay, okay," Sirius raised his hands in a way of giving up. "Agreed, okay? Together. We get through things together."

"Yeah," Remus hit Sirius slowly on the shoulder. Sirius didn't even flinch, but smiled. "Together sounds good."


	2. In The Name of Black

Peter and James were in the Great Hall for lunch. When they saw Remus and Sirius, James waved a hand at them. The Hall wasn't crowded but the Gryffindor table was full. Even Lily was there, which was a surprise because she usually had lunch with Snape outside school.

"Where were you guys?" Peter asked when Remus sat next to him. Sirius stared at the food. He was starving. "Potions," he lied without looking at Remus. Remus just nodded and started eating.

"Oh," James murmured, eating his dish. "What are you going to do with your O.W.L.s? I know you're not good at Potions, mate."

"I have no idea," Remus replied. "Maybe Sirius can help me about that."

Sirius glanced at Remus. "Yeah," he said. His mind was somewhere else and Peter seemed to notice. "What's with you?"

"What?" Sirius looked around. "Me?"

Peter nodded, grinning. "Are you in love or something, man? Where's your head?"

James laughed. "He's just what he is," he said. Then glanced at Sirius secretly, the communication system only the two could understand. _What happened,_ he mouthed to the boy. Sirius looked at him and shook his head, just firmly. _Nothing,_ he did the same as James. _Just thinking._

 _Thinking what?_

Remus was already eating. Minding his own business, more correctly. He probably didn't even realise James and Sirius were secretly talking. Peter, however, looked like he was reading a magazine— the Muggle News, but his focus was on James and Sirius. When James realised that, he said, "Ugh, I forgot my robe in the dorm."

Peter immediately replied. "Oh?" he said nervously. "We can go and get it."

"Nah," James stood up. "I can go get it. Sirius, want to come?"

Sirius looked up to see James' face and understood that there was something to talk with him. Then he glanced at Remus and Peter— Remus was still focused on his dish, but was looking at James. Peter was looking at Sirius, at his reaction. He was being Peter as always. Even though he was a Marauder, too, there was something he admired about Sirius. It wasn't in a romantic way though, Sirius knew, because Peter was into a girl from the Ravenclaw house. Yet, he always admired Sirius, always copied whatever he did— not in a bad way, but in an idolising way. Sirius always laughed at that. "We'll be back in ten."

—

When they were out of the Hall, Sirius looked at James. "What happened, man?" he asked. "You never like robes that much."

James giggled. "Yeah, I don't." He kept walking. "Come on, let's walk outside."

They walked outside school. When they arrived near Hagrid's Hut, James stopped and sat on a rock. "What's it with you?"

Sirius looked confused. "What?"

"C'mon, Sirius," James drew his wand out. "You're acting ridiculous. The others don't know but you weren't like this in summer."

"No— you know what happened this summer, James."

"Yeah, that's what I'm telling," James' blue eyes shined. "So many things happened, yet you still laughed. This mood you have— it's not about your family."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "There's no _'mood I have'_."

James rested his back to the stone behind him. "Man, I know you. There's something."

"There's _nothing_."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Sirius sat next to James. He rubbed his forehead. "I can't tell you, James."

"You can," James whispered. "Of course you can tell me."

"Hey!"

James and Sirius both looked at their lefts. Lily was there, quiet far away, waving her hand to the boys. Sirius suddenly trembled and stood up. "Go say hi," he grinned to James. James looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you really sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Sirius nodded and smiled. "I'm sure, James," he said. "Besides, there's nothing to talk about."

James considered this answer for a second. Then, he looked at Lily and shrugged. "If you say so," he stood up and started walking. "I'll see you later."

—-

Sirius didn't go to the Hall again. He could explain to Remus and Peter later that Lily was with them and James couldn't stop but go with her, and Sirius felt a little sick. Peter would buy it. Remus wouldn't, but who cared.

The boy was walking around Hagrid's Hut but was still close to school so he could go back to class in ten minutes. When he saw Regulus and his friends, he turned back to path another direction.

"Sirius!"

He rolled his eyes and stopped. That voice belonged to Regulus, his younger brother. Regulus was always a better son to Blacks. Even though their heir was Sirius as the older one, Blacks always loved Regulus much more and told the two that when the day would come, Regulus would be the ruler of the Black family. Sirius didn't care about that, too. If he could, he would change his name to anything else but Black.

"What do you want, Regulus?"

Regulus supported You-Know-Who's idea of muggle-borns and half-bloods. To You-Know-Who, to Blacks and to all Voldemort supporters, half-bloods and muggle-borns had to die and the world was supposed to be ruled by pure-bloods only. Sirius didn't agree with this ill-thinking, neither did so many others. Yet here was Regulus. What a cunning snake he was. "I see you're still hanging out with that gross half-blood, brother."

Sirius tried not to frown. He looked relaxed. "That's none of your concern."

"Well, you're still a Black," Regulus grinned. His grin was nauseous. "Of course it's my concern. You're disrespecting our family name."

"It's not my family name."

"How can you say this," Regulus spat. "When you're so lucky to have this name?"

Sirius shook his head and looked at Regulus. "Leave, Regulus. Leave me alone."

"Or what?" Regulus giggled. "Your boyfriend will be mad?"

Sirius walked to Regulus. Now they had only a few inches between. Sirius was taller, so he looked down to face the boy. "Shut up."

"I can," Regulus took a few steps back. He was indeed afraid but he had the high ground. "Only if you stop hanging out with the half-blood and mudblood."

"They're my friends," Sirius drew his wand out. He touched his wand to Regulus' neck for a second. "And don't ever call them like that."

"Oh, they have names? They're sub-wizards. Sub-muggles, too. They're nothing. They shouldn't have names."

"Shut up!" Sirius shouted. Regulus' friends behind looked so threatened that they ran away. Now it was only him and Sirius. "If you ever call them that again—"

"What's going on?"

They both looked behind. It was Remus. He seemed to have just arrived. Regulus immediately laughed and took Sirius' wand in a second of distraction. "Look who's here," Regulus spat out the words. "Our beloved half-blood."

Remus shyly came closer. "Are you okay, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded. "I'm good. You can go."

Regulus laughed again. "Leave? Why?" he turned to Sirius. "Why would he leave?" As he came closer to Remus with Sirius' wand, Sirius was on alert. If Regulus was to do even a little harm to Remus— Sirius would immediately cling to his throat. "Stay away from us."

Regulus looked at Remus with hatred. "You people make me sick."

Remus blushed. He acted as if he didn't hear Regulus' very unkind words. "Sirius, let's go."

Sirius nodded and walked to Remus. Whilst walking, he looked at Regulus with a disgusted face. "If you ever come to talk to me about my friends—"

Regulus shook his head and laughed. "What, Sirius? What will you do?" he said. "I'm just trying to warn you." He pointed Remus with his finger. "If you keep hanging out with _that,_ our beloved parents will be gladly notified."

Remus was about to say something but Sirius held his arm and walked. Whilst walking to school, he looked behind to see Regulus, but he was already gone.


	3. The Letdown

_3 Years Ago_

 _Second Year of Hogwarts_

"Remus, you're being dramatic." James hissed. "You fold your socks, man. Forgive me if I'm not trembling at the sight of you."

Remus scratched his forehead. It had been two weeks since he started hanging out with James and Sirius, after Sirius insisted on letting James know about Remus' big secret, too.

How did Sirius learn that Remus was a werewolf? That was another story, for another time.

"So…" Remus breathed. "You're not— you're not afraid of me?"

Sirius grinned from the other side of their dorm. "Remus," He looked at Remus' clothes. After deciding to hang out all the time, Sirius also insisted on Remus staying in the same dorm room as James and himself, too. "You do fold your socks."

Remus looked at his socks. "But—" he questioned. "You don't… but… I mean— werewolves, they're not exactly…" He tried to find the right word. "Popular? And… for all you know— I can be pretty dangerous too…"

Sirius laughed out loud. "Seriously, Lupin," he pointed the boy's socks. "What part of 'you fold your socks' isn't getting through?"

James agreed with a nod. "Exactly." He said. "Now unpack. We've got a lot to do."

—

 _Now_

Remus looked at the mirror. He was in their dorm room. There was no one with him though. Sirius went away to talk to Professor Slughorn about his disappearance in Potions earlier, James was hanging out with Lily and Peter was on a date with this girl from Ravenclaw House— Sybill Trelawney.

The boy never found himself charming, not even close to being handsome. But he _was_ quite handsome in reality, at least that was what Sirius told him earlier. Remus always thought Sirius was the charming one. He could make everyone listen to himself with his elegant yet cunning look— perfectness. Yet here was Remus, with so many scars on his face, a normal, not-gold-at-all, white boy. He never dated anyone before and he didn't want to either. If he was to date a person, he had to tell them all about his secrets and— if he ever did, they would immediately dump him anyways.

That was Remus' excuse for not dating anyone. At least it was his excuse when he saw Sirius making out with girls.

Remus liked girls. Yes, he indeed liked them— but there was something about feeling affection. Feeling manly towards them, he didn't feel that. He didn't want to kiss a girl before, neither a boy.

But he wanted to kiss a specific person.

Whilst no one was around, he took Sirius' robe from his bed and looked at it. What he was doing right now— it was wrong, but Remus couldn't help it. He sat on Sirius' bed and held his robe. Then he smelled it.

It smelled like manly cologne and forests. It smelled like trees and foliage. Remus loved this smell.

"Hey, guess what happened—-"

Remus immediately dropped the robe to the ground. Sirius looked at him with surprise and shock. Both of them didn't speak for a minute.

When Sirius got in the dorm, he looked down to his robe, then to Remus. "Um…" he said, frightened. "Is it dirty or something?"

 _Of course he would think that,_ Remus thought. He took the robe and put it on Sirius' bed. "No," he said calmly. "I just checked."

Sirius nodded. This was so awkward that Remus wanted to kill himself. "Okay, then."

"What happened?"

"Huh?"

Remus went back to lay on his own bed. "You said something happened."

"Oh," Sirius nodded. "Yeah. Nothing important."

Remus looked at the boy. "Tell me."

"Um, you know Alastor Moody?" When Remus nodded, Sirius continued. "He asked me out. Well, he thinks I'm gay because I have this beautiful looks, and I always hang out with you guys and stuff."

Remus almost choked. "Wh—what?"

Sirius nodded. "Exactly," he said. "Why does he think I'm gay?"

"He _asked_ you out?"

Sirius stood up to look at Lupin. "Are you still stuck with that part?" he giggled. "Don't worry Remus, I'm all yours."

Remus didn't laugh at the joke. "So what did you say?"

"I said I'm not interested."

"And why is that?"

Sirius laid his head back to the bed. "I'm interested in someone else."

Remus swallowed. That was it. Sirius had someone on his mind, and Remus himself had to erase these disgusting feelings about him immediately. "Oh, I understand."

"Don't you wonder who I'm interested in, Moony?"

Remus shook his head and stood up. "No," he firmly replied. "I'm not wondering." He walked to the door and without saying anything, he left.


	4. Angry Cereal Day

"Where's Lupin?"

Peter's eyes were curious. He sat down next to James and searched for an answer. Sirius waved a hand towards the Hufflepuff table. "He's hanging out with Edgar and Amelia."

Peter looked at their table. He had a confused face on. "Who are they?"

"Edgar and Amelia Bones." Sirius swallowed his meal. James looked at Edgar and Amelia, then added, "Siblings."

Peter giggled. "Why does Amelia look like she's about to eat Moony?"

Sirius didn't look back at them. His back was turned to Remus' face, so he couldn't see him. He didn't want to anyways. He was eating cereal, which he never usually did, and James seemed to notice that. He was staring at Sirius but the boy didn't even look back.

"Um…" James changed the subject. "Guess who's taking Lily to Halloween dance?"

Peter looked at James. "Seriously?" he giggled. "Did you cast a spell on her?"

James hit Peter and laughed. "Shut up," he said. "I'm literally taking her to dance. Also— Sirius, mate," he swallowed. "I guess I'll need a suit of yours."

Sirius was still watching his cereal. Since he had plenty of those, he nodded. "Sure."

James stared at him for a few seconds, then looked back at Peter. "Are you guys coming with Sybil?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah, I guess," he gestured. "Are you coming, Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head, just once. "Nope."

"Why?"

He looked at Peter. "I need to study for N.E.W.T.s, man." he swallowed. James was still watching him and he didn't want to be caught lying. Because Sirius was actually far ahead of school's N.E.W.T. schedule. "Besides, you guys are going with girls."

"So?" James asked. He looked a little shy to ask Sirius what happened, so he was talking slowly. "Lily and I can hang out with you all the time."

"So I can be the third wheel?" Sirius insulted himself by grinning. "No thanks."

"Hey guys."

All three of them looked up. Remus was smiling. "What's up?"

Sirius turned back to his meal. He didn't care if James was watching him. "Fine, man," Peter murmured. "We're the same. What's up with you and Amelia?"

Remus giggled. He seemed so happy that Sirius felt angry. "It's nothing," he said, then sat next to Sirius. "We're going to prom together, I guess."

Sirius frowned unwillingly. Without looking at Remus, "It's full moon that day," he said. Remus looked at the boy calmly. "How do you know?"

"I checked."

James seemed to notice the tension between the two. He was about to say something, but Remus interrupted. "Luckily Amelia knew it, too," he said. "Somehow… she knows about my werewolf situation. When I said I couldn't go— she told me… she has some sort of antidote to keep me from being a werewolf. Just— _just_ for one time, of course."

Peter cheered. "Wow!" He shouted. A few people looked at them, including Amelia. "Our shy little Moony got himself a girl—"

"I need to go." Sirius stood up and packed his bag. James looked at him, asking something with his eyes, but Sirius didn't even look back. When he left, Peter looked at James. "What's it with _him?_ "

James looked at Remus now. "Yeah, Remus. What happened?"

Remus looked at them, surprised. "What?"

Peter, being his naive self like always, asked, "He's obviously mad at you. Did something happen?"

Remus shook his head. "Not that I know of."

James' eyes were now fixed on the way Sirius left. He didn't say it out loud, but he knew. He knew what was up with Sirius.


End file.
